Renee Machel’s tips for reducing gift-giving anxiety | Vet Candy
Here’s the practice that will change your life, the way you feel, think, speak, and act. The way you receive and give (without guilt or anxiety).
Mindful Gratitude. Be present. In the moment- appreciate the thought and the gesture, be open to offering the other person the space to feel and experience the same level of appreciation, thanks, enjoyment of the gift, or the gift of your time in the moment without gifts! The gift of being together. Be kind and gentle with yourself, those you surround yourself with and those whom you give gifts to. Gratitude has a unique emotional signature. You can FEEL it in your body. Gratitude is the response.
If you bring cookies to a gathering and immediately say “well, they aren’t homemade” instead of letting the gesturing being as it is- the fact that you brought cookies despite where they originated from-we say something about ourselves that we believe to be “not-enough.”
You aren’t alone, I am doing this very practice.
Step 1: Take notice of when you partake in these behaviors/thoughts. You may start with reflection before your awareness can catch it in the moment.
Step 2: Be in that space, (don’t run from it) become the witness without applying judgements to yourself. Take a moment, a breath, 3 breaths. Give yourself a chance to experience it intuitively. Choose to separate your ego for that moment and operate from a place deeper than that. Recognize the uncomfortable feeling you may have and be silent. Be conscious of the story (emotions, thoughts, behaviors) that make up any given situation. While it may seem easier to “opt-out” explaining yourself, defending yourself, because that is what we are really doing- even if there is no real need for the defense, as I said there hasn’t even been a reaction from the other person most times before we start spilling out egotistically driven explanations.
That is how you check your system and compare it to your true values. If you feel tension, I would suggest that your experience isn’t in alignment with what truly matters to you.
Step 2a: Reflect on your value system, or establish it. Does the way I feel right now (anxiety, fear, worry) align with what truly matters most in my life at this point? What do I value? (this changes over the years) Love, growth, commitment, time, enjoying the company of my friend/ family, bonding/connection, enjoying the process of creating something from “nothing”. Have I taken the time to discover what my values are? What the principles for how I lead and show up in my life are, how I respond and receive what occurs in my life? What do I want to create in life? For more guidance in this area, Get MotiVETed has a whole course that includes a 40 page e-book with prompts, walking you through discovering these important north stars for your life.
Step 3: Realign accordingly, your thoughts, speech, and actions. “Thank you, you’re welcome.” It can be that simple. Apply gratitude. Use it as a tool to shift from anxiety to relief. You can even say to yourself “thank you, and you’re welcome.” Be kind to yourself just as you are to those you love.
Giving yourself credit, much due credit for doing this process. This is huge! You are living consciously. In this moment. You are living inspired. You are making a choice. Life is full of paradoxical moments that simply are. You are here, being here is enough. Appreciate the opportunity you have in front of you, to grow, to connect to oneself and to others. This is a practice, you will forget, and you will remember. This is your chance to practice leading your life from a place of wisdom.
Originally published at https://www.myvetcandy.com on December 1, 2020.